A holiday which occurs annually on 14th February. When people hear the word valentine’s they instantly think romance, roses, love, passion etc. I could write about the origins of Valentines Day, I could also talk about relationships, and I can talk about how valentine’s day is a highly commercialized holiday for people to make money but I am sure you all know that already. I want to be different and talk about love and no not about love in a relationship but loving one of the most important people in your life. You.
Self love should not be confused with narcissm. What do I mean by loving yourself? Well love is not an easy concept to define, there are a large number of variations when it comes to defining the term. It is a subjective concept depending on your cultural mentality. The whole ‘romantic’ nature of love is a western ideology (e.g buying chocolate and flowers, living happily ever after). Everyone has their own opinions as to what they believe love is. The best book I have read about love was by TD Jakes – The lady her lover and her Lord. As it is a Christian book it talks about love from a Christian perspective.
The first part of the book talks about falling in love with yourself, I know that sounds quite weird but let me explain further. I believe that loving yourself includes many different factors, I think appreciating yourself is one of the most important things, you have to embrace who you are as a person. Let go of every past mistake you have made, stop hating yourself for it. I believe that mistakes happen to teach you a lesson so that it can make you a better person. Yes there are many things I have regretted doing like most people but the past should be left in the past, do not let it dictate or hinder your future. You have the capacity to change and prepare for the person you want to become.
Develop yourself in all areas of your life, spiritually, physically, mentally,
and emotionally. Add value to yourself by investing in your mind, educating yourself and developing habits that will be beneficial to your life. You could do this by praying, meditating, exercising, reading, studying, etc. If you are not up the standard you want to be at for the different areas of your life then take action and do something about it. When you are content and confident with who you are as a person and you fully understand yourself then you become a whole person within yourself. When two whole people enter a relationship they can compliment and develop each other. This way you will not need to depend on your partner to fill certain voids which you need to fill yourself. For example if you have too many emotional problems and you think that having a partner can ‘cure’ that, then you’re wasting your time, no one wants to be with someone who sucks out their positive energy and becomes a burden onto them.
and emotionally. Add value to yourself by investing in your mind, educating yourself and developing habits that will be beneficial to your life. You could do this by praying, meditating, exercising, reading, studying, etc. If you are not up the standard you want to be at for the different areas of your life then take action and do something about it. When you are content and confident with who you are as a person and you fully understand yourself then you become a whole person within yourself. When two whole people enter a relationship they can compliment and develop each other. This way you will not need to depend on your partner to fill certain voids which you need to fill yourself. For example if you have too many emotional problems and you think that having a partner can ‘cure’ that, then you’re wasting your time, no one wants to be with someone who sucks out their positive energy and becomes a burden onto them.
If you are single use this time to develop yourself and be the best you you can be so that when you do have a partner you will be prepared for them. Please do not be with someone for the sake of. It is a waste of time and energy, embrace your singleness, so what if all your friends have a partner? it doesn’t matter. Think about YOUR happiness many of these so called relationships won’t last so don’t feel sad because you are single. If you are in a relationship never stop developing yourself as a person.
Anyways happy Valetines day! if you have a partner appreciate them if you are single appreciate yourself :)
Written by Dinah
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