Success

Success. A term we hear quite frequently, it is something that most of us say we want. "I want to be successful" "I will succeed" "I will be a success"

But what is success? What does it mean to be successful? Why do most people want this? what is the purpose of being successful? what does success look like?

To different people success means different things. To some:
It means acquiring as much money as you can. It means getting straight A's in school.
It means excelling in your field. It means being able to buy designer items and drive expensive cars. It means being famous. It means making it up the corporate ladder. It means achieving your dream body. It means to get married and raise a family. It means to be an entrepreneur. It means being popular and respected by others. It means how many music singles or products you sell. It means how many awards you win.

In theory all these examples do contribute to the concept of success. Success is a highly subjective term and everyone has their own personal perspective as to what it means to be successful. Success is related to our personal goals that we want to achieve in life. As our goals differ so does our meaning of success. After you accomplish your goal you have a sense of achievement which feels good. Thats what it feels like to succeed. An example of me experiencing this was my graduation day, wearing my cap and gown and receiving my certificate. After three years of doing loads of reading, all nighters in the library, assignment after assignment I finally completed my degree.


However I do believe there is a deeper meaning to success. I believe that everyone on earth has their own unique purpose which they should discover and fulfil. If you are able to find what your purpose is and fulfil it then in my eyes you are successful. You shouldn't measure your success with others. Doing that will only make you feel negative about yourself. In reality there will always be someone out there who is smarter than you, faster than you, richer than you etc. You can not always be the best, its just not possible. Focus on doing you, but at the same time remember not to become so selfish with your own ambitions that you have the "Me, myself and I" mentality (what my Pastor describes as the egocentric trinity). When you are too consumed with your own ambitions you end up neglecting others, and maybe even pull others down so that you can make it to the top (something which I hear happens a lot in the corporate world).

We should support and encourage one another to achieve our goals. We shouldn't be putting people down or tell them that they can't accomplish their dreams. We shouldn't be jealous and hate on other people's success that we talk negatively about them. If you are not willing to do what someone did to become successful then shut up. Never downplay somebody's dream. For example, someone may strive to become a doctor while someone else may strive to become a parent and stay at home to raise a family. You shouldn't look down on the person wanting to raise a family. Everyone has a different purpose in their life and that should be respected.

One thing to remember is when making your goals sit down and really think about why you want to achieve them. What is the real reason and purpose behind you wanting to achieve it? If your main goal is to become the richest person on earth just so that you can be number 1 on the forbes list and buy a lot of expensive things then to me that is selfish ambition. Your ambition should benefit others. If you look at Bill Gates his Microsoft creation changed the world of computing. He contributed greatly to the world of technology. With some of the wealth he has acquired he has started up his own charities and continues to help  poor people. To me that is success, not because he is the world's richest man. Your main goals shouldn't just be to benefit only yourself. What is the point of being rich if you do not help others with your money? Or making it in life and not inspiring others to also accomplish?. After all money can disappear but it is your legacy that will remain. The greatest people on earth i.e Jesus, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa were not known for money but the difference they made in people's lives.

What legacy do you want to leave behind? What difference can you make in somebody's life?
If you can make just one person's life better, in my eyes you have succeeded :) I wish you all success in your lives.

Written by Dinah

Life and Capitalism

Yesterday the new iPhone 5 made its debut for the world to see. The reaction from many people on the internet was that of disappointment, mainly because there wasn't much of a change from its predecessor iPhone 4s. I believe that Apple do this on purpose because they know that any product they release, whether good or bad people will always buy. This is due to the brand "Apple" being very powerful in contemporary society. For example there are people out there who had bought iPhone 4 when it came out then went and later bought the iPhone 4s and will now be preparing to buy iPhone 5. In my eyes this is stupidity but then again I can't tell people how to spend their money. Like I always say "Apple" is capitalism at it's finest.

We live in a capitalist society which makes us think we always need to have the latest products, own designer labels and to have more than we already do. We are all victims to this. If I take myself as an example I spend a lot of my money on clothes, shoes and make up. The thing is I keep buying more of it when I already have a lot that I still haven't even used/worn. I never seem to be content with what I have, I always want more (I know you do too so don't judge me lol). The question is why is this? 

Here's the dictionary definition of capitalism: An economic system in which investment in and ownership of the means of production, distribution, and exchange of wealth is made and maintained chiefly by private individuals or corporations, especially as contrasted to cooperatively or state-owned means of wealth.

In simple English this is basically companies and corporations who produce goods to sell to the mass population in order to make as much money as possible.

In order to achieve this objective people need to BUY products. To achieve this even further people need to buy products they do not need. For this to be happen people need to think that they need particular products that in reality, they don't actually need. This happens through brainwashing by the main culprit, the media. We are constantly bombarded with advertisements everywhere. Companies spend huge amounts of money on advertising alone. Even seeing the lavish lifestyles of celebrities, most of the time the average person wishes they were also living that kind of lifestyle. We always want more and this is what corporations want because if we became content with what we have corporations would lose large amounts of money and capitalism wouldn't be able to thrive.

We live in a society whereby money seems to be equated with success, status and power. This is a negative ideology. The amount of money you have should not define who you are, whether you are wealthy or not does not mean you are superior or inferior to anyone else. We tend to believe that having substantial money is the only thing that can make us truly happy.  In reality the more money you acquire the more greedy you become. A couple of months ago on the news a middle aged man who was a former Wall Street investment banker and Lawyer committed suicide. He was a very wealthy man who wanted more money so he set his mansion on fire so he could claim insurance money. Unfortunately, when he was found guilty of starting the fire he killed himself in the courtroom. At First I was thinking to myself why would he do such a thing when he was already rich? Another victim of capitalism 

Here is a quote I came across by Nick Vujicic

“Life isn't about having, it's about being. You could surround yourself with all that money can buy, and you'd still be as miserable as a human can be. I know people with perfect bodies who don't have half the happiness I've found. On my journeys I've seen more joy in the slums of Mumbai and the orphanages of Africa than in wealthy gated communities and on sprawling estates worth millions. Why is that? You'll find contentment when your talents and passion are completely engaged, in full force. Recognise instant self-gratification for what it is. Resist the temptation to grab for material objects like the perfect house, the coolest clothes or the hottest car. The if I just had X, I would be happy syndrome is a mass delusion. When you look for happiness in mere objects, they are never enough. Look around. Look within.”

This quote had really touched me. It is very true that in poorer countries people who have very little and lack basic needs tend to be much happier than those of us in wealthier countries where we essentially have all we need. This shows that true happiness is not based on materials and money. I'm not saying that you shouldn't earn money (after all we all have bills to pay) or to never buy yourself material things. My main point is that you shouldn't be so consumed by it that it becomes your sole purpose in life. "

Written by Dinah 

Famous For Being Famous Culture: Kim K

Kim Kardashian is one of the most famous celebrities worldwide. She is worth millions of dollars, and she has millions of fans all over the world. She along with her family have their own reality TV show called “Keeping up with the Kardashians”, which is one of the most watched reality TV shows in America. However, some questions need to be addressed; such as, how did Kim Kardashian become famous in the first place? Also, does Kim Kardashian possess any qualities that require our admiration? Furthermore is Kim Kardashian a good role model for women? Throughout the rest of this piece I will answer all of these questions and elaborate on my answers.

As an individual Kim Kardashian does not possess any unique skills or qualities that anyone can aspire to have. Kim Kardashian is an infamous name around the world and yet she cannot sing, dance, act, or even take part in any important discussions such as politics etc. As Barbara Walters pointed out to her and her sisters in an interview “you have no talent”. Although this sounded cruel Walters pointed out the truth. Kim is one of a few celebrities who are famous for not doing anything. Such examples are Katie Price and Paris Hilton. So even though Kim Kardashian is not talented many women idolise her for her looks, but even this is a fallacy. When we see Kim Kardashian on the TV she like all celebrities wears a substantial amount of make up, so if you go to the trouble of looking on the internet and finding pictures of her without make up you will be amazed at what wonders make up can do for women. So Kim Kardashian is clearly not as good looking as what people believe, and as you read this, there probably are young girls who are ashamed of their looks in comparison to Kim Kardashian and other celebrities pushed out in the media.

Since Kim Kardashian is famous despite not possessing any talent or qualities, the question that remains is how did Kim Kardashian become famous? Kim Kardashian first rose to prominence from a sex tape with her former boyfriend and R & B singer Ray J. This sex tape went viral all over the internet, and from that, Kim Kardashian became famous. However, Kim Kardashian did gain some publicity earlier on because she had a friendship with Paris Hilton. Additionally, her family were in the spotlight from the OJ Simpson trial, as her father was one of OJ Simpson’s lawyers. So her family name Kardashian is what became known and not necessarily Kim. However the vast majority of people including myself know Kim Kardashian from her sex tape with Ray J.

Overall, Kim Kardashian is a bad role model for young women, as she does not advocate any positive moral teachings to women. Additionally, she does not help the poor and malnourished children in the world. She rather spent ten million dollars on a wedding when the marriage lasted just seventy two days! Even though some of the money was sponsored it still doesn’t acquit her for the amount of money her and her family put into the wedding. This is not only sad but disgraceful. Imagine all of the starving children that could have been spared had she put her humanity before her ego. Kim Kardashian is one of the worst characters in the celebrity cult: she degrades women; she promotes an extreme form of capitalism; and rather than helping to push for change in the world she serves to maintain the global status quo of getting rich and spending as much money as possible on products that you do not need. This is the actual purpose of the celebrity cult. So the only time my opinion of Kim Kardashian will change is when she stops promoting misogyny, capitalism and greed and starts to help the poor children of the world with her money. Furthermore, instead of tweeting nonsensical stuff on her twitter, she should help to tweet positive and enlightening tweets to the millions of her followers. Kim Kardashian should realise that her along with other celebrities have the power to bring about change in this world. With just one tweet she can organise mass demonstrations against the establishment. Imagine if Kim Kardashian and others started to tweet about the corruption of the banks and the government? A worldwide revolution will happen instantly. So all hope is not lost for Kim Kardashian and other celebrities, they have to wake up or remain dead (I mean mentally dead). 

Written by Aaron Laari

Hip Hop on Trial

A few weeks ago there was an online debate called “Hip Hop on Trial”. The motion was “Hip Hop doesn’t enhance society, it degrades it.” The panel put forward many arguments for and against the motion. Some of the arguments put forward were convincing and others were not. In the rest of this article I will give my own answer to the motion and briefly highlight some of the arguments made.

In my opinion one cannot simply generalise all of hip hop and state that hip hop degrades society. This is because Hip Hop is very broad, it is a culture with various aspects involved in it. So much that it cannot be generalised. As Dr Michael Eric Dyson pointed out if there is a debate on Hip Hop being negative there should be a debate on the Church with the motion “The Church on Trial” because some Christians have repeatedly shown prejudice, discrimination and injustice towards women.

Hip Hop has produced, many great artists with positive messages such as: Public Enemy, Tupac, Nas, Lowkey, Akala, Logic, Immortal Technique and M1 Dead Prez, Lauryn Hill and many more. All of these aforementioned artists rap about social issues from political, economic, racial or general global issues as well as encouraging the empowerment of women. These artists have not only helped organise movements, but they also have helped to spread knowledge to the masses through their music. For example, Akalas motto is “Knowledge is power”. This motto encourages his listeners to read in order to liberate their minds from false information. Furthermore, Hip Hop has given many African Americans a sense of cultural belonging. After being distanced from Africa the African diaspora in America needed something to identify themselves with. Hence came Hip Hop and all of the other black movements in America such as the “black is beautiful” movement in the 1960s. So the notion that Hip Hop degrades society is a completely inaccurate statement.

However, I cannot deny the fact that there are a lot of hip hop artists that have attempted to degrade our society. There are many artists who portray nothing but negative images in their music videos and lyrics. Such examples are rappers such as Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, Drake, Big Sean, Nicki Minaj, Tyga, 50 cent, and Snoop Dogg and the list continues. T­­­his list is even longer than the positive artists list, because if I ask a random Hip Hop fan to name me some positive artists, they will only name a few but they are more likely to name a negative artist. So this is a problem that Hip Hop faces. These artists promote misogyny, bad language, and violence, and as Tricia Rose pointed out they also promote “predatory capitalism” because of the materialistic messages and music videos. So it is fair to say that the majority of current mainstream Hip Hop artists are degrading our society and the Hip Hop artists that have positive messages are not being given radio or TV play as Benjamin Zephaniah pointed out in the debate that Lowkey and Logic are conscious rappers but their music is not being promoted by the media.

Nevertheless, it is not only mainstream Hip Hop that degrades society, some underground rappers in Britain and the US are doing exactly the same thing if not worse than what some mainstream artists are doing. Such examples are Uncle Murda, Giggs, DVS, Wacka Flocka, French Montana and more. These underground rappers promote bad messages through their lyrics which mainly consist of violence. So it is evident that elements of hip hop are degrading to our society. However, the dilemma is that it isn’t just generally mainstream hip hop that is degrading our society. Mainstream music can also be degrading such as pop, rock and R&B. For example, Rihanna glorifies a sexual image as was mentioned in the debate, pop artists such as Lady Gaga top the list in terms of being an artist that is ridiculing our society. So in short the media is what is degrading our society and not just hip hop. Additionally, we have films in Britain which always portray young people as delinquent, and pornography shown on social networking Medias such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the television. So all forms of media degrade our society to a certain extent, so to only blame hip hop for the faults in our society is not only bias but unfair. So I assert that the motion should have been “Social media does not enhance society it degrades it?”. This question is far more plausible than saying “Hip hop doesn’t enhance society it degrades it?”

So overall the debate was very enthralling and I tended to agree with a lot of Tricia Roses points, and as hip hop is part of social media, some issues still need to be addressed more formally than how it was in the debate. The issues that need to be addressed on another debate is the use of the N word, calling women b*tches and h*es and encouraging capitalism and materialism in Hip Hop.

Written by Aaron

Homosexuality

*Disclaimer: I use the words Homosexuals and Gays interchangeably and it refers to both gays and lesbians.

Before I get started I am sure many of you will disagree with the things I am going to write and criticize the points I am going to make. You do not have to agree with what I write, that is not the purpose of this post. This is just to express MY OWN personal opinion on the issue.

Recently President Obama expressed his support for same sex marriages. This is a very controversial issue with some people agreeing with what he said whilst there are others who are completely against it.

Growing up in the Black and Christian communities being homosexual was a massive no-no. Homophobic attitudes were very common place and I admit I used to be homophobic myself. I believed that being gay was an abomination, an evil sin, haram etc. Though I had a negative opinion of homosexuals I would never have harmed someone for being gay. I have always been strongly opposed to gay-bashing. I always believed that being gay was a choice and that those who chose to do so were sick in the head. I could not comprehend why a man would choose to be with another man when there are plenty of beautiful women out there and vice versa. It just did not make sense to me. One time in college I was having a debate with one girl who supported homosexuality. One thing she said to me was that "If being gay was a choice why would someone choose to allow themselves to be socially marginalized, victimized and prone to abuse". That really got me thinking deeply, its  true why would someone choose to be gay in a society where they will be treated as inferior and in some cases attacked for it? That was a real turning point in my opinions about homosexuality.

Skip to a few years later and my opinions of homosexuals have changed a lot (Thank God!). I do believe that some people are born with a natural tendency to be attracted to someone of the same sex (I know many people will disagree with this). To explain my point further take the situations where there are men who know deep down that they are gay but have tried to suppress it for years. They get married to women and even have children. But these gay feelings they have are still there, they wish it to go away but it keeps coming back; until it gets to a point where they can no longer hide it anymore. I have met gays who have tried very hard for many years to become heterosexual but it just didn't work. I have not met every homosexual out there but the ones I have met have been very nice people. They are still human beings; not very different from you and I and contrary to belief they do have morals. I don't understand why people spend so much time expressing their hatred towards gays when there are evil people out there such as rapists, pedophiles and serial killers.

*This part is mainly for the Christians or religious people* 
I understand that the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is wrong but I interpret it as the physical act which is a sin, not the emotion. If you have gay feelings but do not act on it then I do not see it as committing a sin. The bible also clearly states that it is wrong to lie, steal, fornicate, insult others or gossip and I can guarantee that you all have committed at least one of these sins and probably still do. We are ALL sinners and in God's eyes all sin is sin, none is greater than the other. Whether a man sleeps with another man or a man fornicates with a woman they are of equal weight. I am sick of some religious people getting on their high horse about gays and conveying their hatred towards them (what ever happened to love thy neighbor? or are gays exempt?). These religious people act as if they are perfect and have never sinned (remember the phrase "he without sin cast the first stone"? None of us are without sin so we can not cast any stones!)

At the end of the day if somebody is gay then that is their lifestyle, it doesn't affect me in anyway shape or form, and I do not have an issue with it. If someone is in a same sex relationship and they are happy and not harming anyone they should be allowed to live their lives. They are still people with feelings and emotions and they should not be deprived of their human rights. As cliche as this sounds God is the only true judge and what people do is between them and God.

Written By Dinah

The Dilemma of the West

In a chaotic atmosphere; where the guns are running, the bombs are flying, the bullets are killing, mothers are crying, fathers are dying, children are hiding, blood is splitting, civilians are running. A plea for mercy, and a plea for intervention.

“From the look of things it’s like there are no civilians in Syria” Reynolds Agyapong retorted.  The international community went to Libya to protect them but what happens when a similar situation arises in Syria?

On February 15^th 2011 about 600 activists gathered at Benghazi to demonstrate against the arrest of Fathi Terbil, a human rights lawyer. Little were they prepared to fight and overrun the armoury of by then Libyan leader, Muammar Gaddafi. Barely a month after the attack, the international community had acted swiftly. By 26^th February the United Nations had passed a resolution for the assets of the Libyan leader and some members of his inner circle to be frozen. By 27^th June an international arrest warrant had been issued for him and some of the members of his inner circle. Most of all on 17^th March the United Nations had passed the Libyan no-fly zone in bid to protect civilians.

With France, Britain and Italy having a keen interest, David Cameron readily released some tornados war craft and Obama supported with some submarines. Berluscuni of Italy gladly gave away his military bases to make the no fly zone successful. Rumours if not facts, also had it that some military experts where deployed by the White House to Benghazi to help the revolutionaries succeed in their bid. With France also secretly giving weapons to Benghazi, there is no doubt that the interest of the West and the International community were very paramount.

In thinking about Reynolds Agyapong’s retort, I asked myself whether there are any differences between what happened in Libya and what is currently going on in Syria. What are the similarities and why is the USA and its allies adopting a different mechanism?

With Homes in disarray and civilians fleeing for safety, Why is the Camerons being so diplomatic in their approach? Are they giving Kofi Annan’s peace deal a try? The very deal for me I believe it’s as potent as the very paper on which they were printed. I have therefore tried to deduce some of what maybe the reason for the slow response of the West and the International community at large.

In the place, national interest may gradually be shifting. Though states like the USA have protection of human rights as one of their national interests, it is becoming very evident that Washington no longer wants to make the mistake they made in the case of Iraq and Afghanistan. Washington no longer wants to be actively involved in any Arab conflict. This was made evident when Washington refused to take command of NATO in the Libya No-fly zone edging Europe to take command.

Another factor to the slow response could also be that the Syrian revolution was probably so close to the political and electoral storms.  With Sarkozy preparing for his election and hence focusing on his campaign, Paris had lost much interest in saving the civilians of Syria. Not only Sarkozy facing election; with Washington also preparing for election later in 2012 therefore shifting the focus intervention to domestic politics. The Mayoral election in the UK may also have changed the sight of David Cameron whereas Mario Monti of Italy too new in office and busily finding a way out of the Italian economic crisis to interfere in Syria.

It is also possible that the international community have drained their coffers much enough that they do not want to add any extra cost to what they have already incurred. Although the actual true cost of the Libyan no fly zone may be known in monetary terms, the Reuters News Agency on 22^nd March reported that the Libyan no-fly zone could cost the coalition about 1 billion dollars. Although this may not be the actual figure of the cost of operation. I believe the figure may not be very far from this coat. The question therefore is whether or not the international community is willing to lose such a large amount of money at a time when key states are struggling with their Economic growth.

On the other hand the Arab league have not provided enough support for the West to do anything similar to that of Libya. This is seen as them not being as vibrant as they were in the Libyan revolution. In the latter they readily gave their blessings to the International community to intervene whereas in that of Syria they are much interested in sending numerous monitors and observers whose presence is as meaningful as nothing. Where is Qatar and Saudi Arabia who supported the international community to enter Libya?

Could it also be that the international community took revenge on Gaddafi’s Libya for his numerous acts against them? The Lockerbie bombing among others things may also be a reason to make the international community to run against him; whereas the international community may not have scar against Bashar al-Assad. It could be Tripoli had reconciled with the international world before Gaddafi’s fall. However it cannot be said that the international community had completely forgotten and forgiven him for his atrocities.

Though there may be other several reasons, these are what I can put out from my personal analysis. In spite of whatever the reasons may be it is my sincere prayer that Syrians come to enjoy the very freedom which all men ought to enjoy without pleading for it. As I have always maintained; the worse form of slavery is living under a dictator. A state never belongs to an individual it belongs to all citizens. All wisdom is not a residence of one’s head so every man has a right to have a say in government.

written by a Guest blogger

Quarter Life Crisis

Have you ever felt like you are just existing through life? That life is just a boring routine? (i.e. work, home, sleep then repeat). Do you sometimes feel like you haven't achieved anything significant in your life? Are there times that you just feel lost and confused? Have you ever felt that there must be more to life? If you have answered yes to any of the above questions then you have experienced symptoms of a "Quarter life crisis". (I know that just sounded like a TV advert lol). This term (similar to mid life crisis) is mainly applicable to people who are in their 20's that have finished formal education and are transitioning to living in the real world.

The real world is a massive place and can be very overwhelming. When you are in you 20s you start to feel a lot of pressure. Examples include the pressure to know your career path, pressure to marry, pressure to have children, pressure to have a particular job, pressure to move out of your parent’s house. There are all these expectations it seems we need to fulfil. There are many decisions we need to make but a lot of the time we are unsure whether we are making the right one. Sometimes I feel I am just living a routine life. I'm always wondering isn't there more to life than having academic qualifications, a 9-5, marriage, kids, a mortgage then going on a pension until you die?

I guess that is when the whole finding your purpose and passion in life comes in. When you do know what your purpose is in life then you can live a fulfilled life. This is something I am still trying to figure out, my purpose and true passion. I watched one of Oprah's life classes where she talked about purpose. There are many people who like myself are unsure of their life purpose, even people who are in their 40s/50s. There are also people who seem to have everything going for them in life (i.e. successful careers and wealth) but still feel unfulfilled with their lives.

One thing that was said in the life class was that finding your purpose is a journey (please note your purpose is not always your career). Life is also a journey and it is also one of self-discovery. It is the process of finding yourself (which can take years). Being on this journey can allow you to learn new things about yourself through your life experiences which helps to mould you. Like planning a journey you can plan your life (Believe me I used to plan everything in my life from my career, to the money I'll earn to the age I will be married to when I'll have my first child etc) but life doesn't always go according to how you plan it (I'm sure we can all testify to this). Unless you are psychic you can never be certain of what the future holds.

I believe that everyone has their own destiny. Your journey is unique and it is not supposed to be the same as someone else's journey. Therefore we should not compare ourselves with other people because their life journey is not meant for us (I admit I have been guilty of comparing myself to others which only discouraged me). I came to a realisation that I am me and there will only be one me so I should aim to be the best ME I can be. Yes you can have role models and be inspired by others but never aim to be someone else (I am sure you have all heard the quote "you were born an original so don't die a copy"). I believe that we should try our best to enjoy and make the most of our lives. After all we only have one life. We should seize the moment, try new things and find out things about ourselves. In addition praying for guidance and meditating can help lead us to finding out our purpose.

I know this post does not apply to everyone; there are some people who know their life purpose and are fulfilling it. I love seeing people who are fulfilling their purpose, it really motivates me. I believe that God has a plan for every one of us "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9). Our ways are not God's ways but I believe that God will make sure that things work out for the better in our lives. Those of you who are unsure of your purpose I think we should embrace our journey of discovering what it is and view it as an adventure. One quote Joyce Meyer says is that we should enjoy where we are at on the way to where we are going.

This is one of my favorite songs by India Arie and I would like you to really listen to the lyrics

Written By Dinah

Real, Fake or Self Hate?

    
        
If I got a pound for every guy who complained about girls being fake with their weaves, make-up, false lashes etc I would probably be on the forbes list. There is this whole debate of Natural beauty vs Fake beauty. On the extreme ends of the spectrum you get people who scream "Team natural" and believe that everyone should be 100%  natural. You also get those who believe in enhancing your appearance by any means necessary.

Firstly I will address the hair issue. Personally I love to wear weave (yes I admit I am a weave-aholic) and I like to wear make up on special occasions. However when I was younger I strongly believed in natural beauty. I never wore make up, my hair was natural and I wore it either in cornrows, twists or braids. My natural hair texture is very kinky and thick (4C type hair). I used to cry when getting my hair done because it was extremely painful (a few combs also got broken during the process). During my latter teen years I decided to relax my hair because I could no longer cope with the pain of maintaining my natural hair. A few weeks later I also got my first weave. 

Before I get attacked by Team Natural I do understand the origins of hair relaxing. Lye was used on the hair of African slaves as a form of punishment and it was later realised that Lye straightened afro textured hair.That is when the relaxer was born. Hair relaxing is also damaging because of the very strong chemicals it contains which can also cause burns to the scalp. Many females relax their hair because they find permed hair easier to maintain and more manageable. I do not believe that relaxing your hair is a sign of self hatred. However if the reason for you relaxing your hair is because you dislike your natural afro hair, then yes it is self hate. In regards to weave I think it is down to personal preference. It is a great protective style whether you are natural or relaxed. Though some argue that wearing a weave means you are conforming to the white standard of beauty. This is because a lot of weaves women wear mimick that of European hair (i.e long straight hair). Some natural people argue that we should leave our hair in it's natural afro state because that is how it is supposed to be, kincky and curly not bone straight.

The next issue I will address is make up. I believe that make up is supposed to enhance your beauty, not give you a brand new face. I hate seeing females who constantly cake their faces in foundation or have that "Clown" look. What's even worse is when a female takes off her make up and she looks like a completely different person.This is when the whole "deception" argument comes in. Those who never set foot outside their homes without make up I believe they either have low self-esteem or a deeper insecurity issue and need help. Do not get me wrong I love to wear make up and if I am going on a night out with friends I may wear  a bold lip colour. But I always aim to make sure that I still look like ME.

In regards to using surgical procedures to alter your bodies (i.e butt implants) I address this issue in another blog post "Body Image and the Black women" which you can read.

I do like the natural movement and I think it is great to exude your natural beauty. I also support enhancing your beauty whether it is by wearing make up, hair extensions, acrylic nails etc (as long as you do not go over the top like Lil Kim). To illustrate my view I will use Gabrielle Union as an example. Though she is wearing make-up and weave in the picture she doesn't look fake but still looks kind of natural.  At the end of the day, it is all down to your own  personal preference but it is also important for you  to be happy and comfortable in your own skin and not hide behind a mask.

Gabrielle
union

Written By Dinah

Religion v Spirituality

*Disclaimer: the content of this blog post is my OWN personal view and may offend

Over a month ago a YouTube video entitled " Why I hate Religion but Love Jesus" went viral. I agree with the message that the poet conveys in this video about Christianity. From the outset it seems that the title of this video is contradictory, especially because Christianity is a religion right? Let me explain my answer to this.

I believe that being a true Christian is having your own personal relationship with God. To maintain any relationship in life you regularly communicate with the person and spend time with them in order to get to know them more. This is also applicable to having a relationship with God. This means regularly communicating with him (praying) and spending time with Him by reading the bible in order to get to know Him more. If you are consistent with this then with time your relationship with God will develop and become stronger. You'll allow God into your heart and hopefully accept Jesus Christ as your Lord. This is what I call Spirituality because this develops your spiritual life. Afterall when you die your body will perish but it is your spirit that will live on. Hence, why I describe myself as a spiritual person and not religious.

In the YouTube video the poet describes 'religion' as being man made, which I also agree with. I believe that people take a faith, twist it, add on their own opinions/culture to it (or take the faith completely out of context) in order to make a set of behaviourial rules for people to follow and label it as 'religion'. Religious people are those who focus on these rules and behave in a "self-righteous" manner. They are quick to criticize those who deviate from these rules. During Jesus' life the Pharisees were religious people who  constantly criticized Jesus' actions. They were self righteous men who thought that they were better than everyone else. I have seen many people in my life like the Pharisees. Jesus was very vocal about his opinions on the Pharisees:

²⁵ Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. (Matthew 23:25 NIV)

Do not get me wrong, the Bible does give us guidance on how we should live our lives that we should follow. However we should not do this because we feel that we are being coerced but because we actually want to. God looks at our hearts and our intentions behind our actions.  "The LORD does not look ... at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). Like my Pastor said in one sermon in relation to offering, if we give our offering unwillingly then our offering is meaningless to God, even if it is a big offering. But if we give because we genuinely want to, then yes it is meaningful to God. It is not about the size of the offering that matters but the manner in which we give the offering.

I think that we live in a world where people have deviated from the true foundations of faith and have used Religion to commit many atrocities. For example, starting wars and causing the death of thousands (i.e Christian Crusades and Islamic extremists).  Religion has been used as a tool to oppress women in Arab countries and was used to justify the enslavement of Africans during the Trans-Atlantic Slave trade. Even nowadays many false religious leaders are out there decieving thousands of people. I believe that the ideology of  "Religion" has had a detrimental effect on this world. Even today many people still use religion to justify their evil actions.

That is the reason why I detest 'Religion' however I do encourage Spirituality. That is why if you are a Christian aim to develop your own relationship with God. Do not compare yourself to other 'Christians' because you do not know and will never fully know the true nature of their relationship with God. Furthermore, on judgement day God will judge us all individually. Therefore aim to be Christ-like. What I mean by this is to love, to give, to encourage and to help others. Not to judge, belittle, criticize or start telling people in a threatening manner that they are going to hell if they do not convert. After all we are ALL sinners, nobody is perfect, I am far from it and that is the reason why Jesus came on earth in the first place, to die for all of our sins. Here is one of my favourite poems called "I am a Christian" by Carol Wimmer

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”

I’m whispering, “I get lost! That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian” I don’t speak with human pride

I’m confessing that I stumble - needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not trying to be strong

I’m professing that I’m weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not bragging of success

I’m admitting that I’ve failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian” I don’t think I know it all

I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not claiming to be perfect

My flaws are far too visible but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian” I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian” I do not wish to judge

I have no authority I only know I’m loved

Written By Dinah

R.I.P Whitney Houston - What can we learn?

This morning  as I was preparing to go to church my mum knocked on my bedroom door and said "You know the singer Whitney Houston?" and I replied "yeah what about her?" and my mum then said "she's dead". That moment my jaw dropped, I was in complete disbelief. I then took my phone and went on twitter and saw many tweets about her death (breaking news hits twitter before anywhere else). I couldn't believe it.

Unless you live in a remote village in the Amazon rain-forest I am sure you know who Whitney Houston is. She is one of the most talented singers to have ever graced this earth. There are very VERY few singers out there whose vocal abilities can even compare to that of Whitney's. She was really blessed with a God given talent. She started singing in the church and then progressed into having one of the most successful music careers which included her winning over 400 awards.

In 1992 she married Bobby Brown which I believe was the biggest mistake she made in her life. He had problems with drugs and alcohol as well as having numerous run ins with the law. After Whitney had been with him for a while, she too started having a drugs problem. This started affecting her  behavior and performances. This beautiful talented woman who had everything going for her had now become a drug addict which eventually cost her career. From this I realised that as people we need to be very careful with who we allow into our lives. People can either be an asset or a liability. In Whitney's case Bobby was a liability. Whitney was someone of a high value whose worth had dramatically depreciated.

"He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed" (Poverbs 13:20 NKJ)

I can't tell you how relevant this verse is. You have to make sound choices when you choose who you associate with. As someone who has worked in a criminal Law firm I have seen young guys who have been charged with crimes, not because they are bad people but because they associated themselves with the wrong crowd. Being around the wrong people can cost you so much. That is why when someone always brings negativity to you, you should cut them out of your life or at least keep them at a distance. In life people come and people go, some people are not meant to be in your life. The people that I currently choose to be in my life influence me in a positive way and help me to become a better person. I do not have time for those who are a liability, negative or detrimental. I will not hesitate to cut them off, after all I only have one life why waste it on someone who doesn't even care about my well being?

My message to you is choose the people you surround yourself with wisely. I will leave you with my favorite Whitney Houston Track

Written By Dinah

Stephen Lawrence - 18 years later

I'm sure most of you know the story of Stephen Lawrence's murder. It has been all over the news due to the very recent trial. To explain the story briefly Stephen Lawrence was an 18 year old black student from south London. On the night of 22 April 1993 he was with his best friend Duwayne Brooks and they were waiting for a bus. The buses were disrupted and not running on schedule. After waiting ages for their bus they decided to go to another bus stop to see if any buses were coming and that is when they came face to face to the gang of racist white males. Duwayne managed to escape but unfortunately Stephen didn't and was stabbed twice and died.

Five suspects were arrested but no one was ever convicted until 3 January 2012, 18 years later. There was enough evidence linking some of the suspects to the murder but the initial police investigation was inefficient and there was a lot of corruption involved; hence the charges being dropped against the suspects in the first trial. Fortunately new forensic evidence came to light and two of the original five suspects (Gary Dobson and David Norris) have been convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment with a minimum of 14/15 years having to be served. I do wish that their minimum terms were much longer but they were sentenced as juveniles since they were 16/17 at the time of the murder. In addition the Judge was bound by pre-2003 law and had to sentence them according to the laws at the time of the murder. If the incident had happened in present times then the minimum sentence would have been 25 years.

Though I am glad that they have been convicted I think it is 18 years too late. Police had ample time to get the suspects convicted many years ago but due to their inefficiency it took far too long. The names of the suspects were given to police the day after Stephens murder but they did not do a thorough investigation.They made a number of errors, for example the officers that attended to Stephen while he was dying did not even give him first aid though all of them had been trained in it. They thought Duwayne Brooks was the perpetrator and treated him like a suspect. One of the policemen in charge of the investigation had ties with one of the father's of the suspects and when this came to light he migrated to Spain. This investigation led to the 1999 McPherson Report which concluded that there was institutional racism within the police force.

Even though I was just three years old at the time this happened, this story has had an impact on me. As part of one of my modules in my degree I looked at the MacPherson report and the many recommendations he made. I also had the opportunity to meet one of the lawyers who represented the Lawrence's during the first trial and heard him speak on the racism involved in the case. I don't know what sickened me more about this case, the racists who killed Stephen or the police's handling of this case.

As a black female living in the UK I have been fortunate not to have experienced racism but unfortunately its not the same for all people from minority ethnic groups. Just recently an Indian was shot at close range for absolutely no reason apart from the colour of his skin. Discriminating and harming someone due to something they were born with and have no control over is sickening. I hope the other three suspects Neil and Jamie Acourt, Gary Knight also get convicted.

Racism is evil and is something which causes hate, violence and negativity. If I had my way racism would not exist. Though we do hear about racist incidents we should remember that there are many non-racist people out there. Even when Stephen was dying it was a white Christian couple that held him and prayed for him. I believe in the saying that love conquers all. If we learn to love and accept one another we will continue to progress.I think that is the reason why the most important commandment in the bible is "Love your neighbour" because love has no room for wrong doing. I am going to leave you with a bible verse on Love


(1 Corinthians 13:4-7) 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Written By Dinah