Pressures of Millennial women

Being a millennial  female, we have far more opportunities than the women that came before us. We  are allowed to be educated, we can have careers and make our own money, we can start our own businesses plus more. We have the choice to be independent if we want to. However, despite living in the 21st century, there are some people that only find value and worth in a woman if she is married and/or is a mother. It seems that if you are not a wife and mother in your 20s/30s and beyond, there is something wrong with you. You can be an ambitious  woman  who works hard and achieves a masters, PhD, OBE or a nobel peace prize etc but if you are not married and don't have a child then all of your accolades seem redundant.

This is something which really annoys me. I hate the fact that some portion of society defines a woman's worth and value by her relationship status and whether she is a mother. We have to understand that in previous generations, women were not educated at a high level or allowed to work to make their own money. Therefore, the only option for women was to be a wife then have children.  That is why it was the norm for women back then to to be married by 18 and have multiple children and be housewives as there was a lack of options.

As you are aware times have dramatically changed. Therefore, we can't expect the women of today to be like the women of the past. The average age of becoming a wife and mother has increased. This is due to women establishing their careers and wanting to achieve their goals prior to marrying or having children. There is nothing wrong with this. I think it is important as women to work and build on yourself,  find your own identity, have life experiences, make mistakes and grow. You are your OWN  person. 50% of your mother's  DNA and 50% of your father's DNA made you, according to maths 50%+50% = 100%. Therefore you are already a whole person. You are not 50%, therefore you do not need someone to complete your existence.

People that don't know how to mind their business like asking the following questions:

Why are you single?
You then get yourself a partner then they ask: When are you getting married?
You get married then they ask: When are you having children?
You have a child then they ask: When are you going to have another child?

Some people are never satisfied, they always have something to say about your life. In my opinion I think these questions are insensitive. A women may be single because she finally got the courage to leave a toxic/abusive relationship and needs time to heal. She maybe also be single because  she wants to focus on accomplishing her goals. A woman may not be married because she hasn't found the right person, or she is not ready for marriage, or she just doesn't want to marry. A woman may not have a child because she is having difficulty conceiving and may have had a miscarriage. You never know what someone is going through behind closed doors, or the silent battles they are dealing with. Asking the above questions to a woman may trigger a lot of hurt and negative emotions.

We need to stop approaching unmarried women in their 20s/30s and putting pressure on them to marry and/or have children. I believe that all things will happen in God's timing, so do not rush the process. If you rush to get married you may end up settling with the wrong person. This would lead to divorce, which is a long, expensive and emotionally draining procedure (especially if it's contested). Having children is a lifelong commitment, when you are up at 2am  tending to your baby who won’t stop crying, those people who put pressure on you won’t be there. Learn to live your life for yourself. If you do not want to marry or have children, then that is perfectly fine! I used to allow pressure from people get to me which made be feel down. I then made a decision to put myself first and I am a much happier person because of it. Remember you are unique and amazing by yourself, you do not need a man or a child to define you!